god i love him.

i dont know what to do with myself. im holding back the tears. the pain of being alone. night after night, my mind wanders right into what life could be with him. i think of the way he looked at me. the way he begged for five more minuets. the way he kissed me. hes all i think about. hes everything i wanted. the pain from my childhood goes away. i dont have to try to be happy, he just makes it happen. its not in the least bit awkward with him. everything relaxes. everything smiles. everything whispers. the songs craddle my saddness at night. his smile brightens my day. his eyes remind me that there is something beautiful to live for. i will never look at another the same way i look at him. if what i feel for him isnt love, then i must not know what it is then.